Illinois to be First State to Tax Human Waste By Weight

Illinois legislators are taking up legislation to tax human waste.

The proposed measure will tax households based on the weight of the sewage discharge. Weight and consistency will be analyzed with new “smart waste sensors” installed at the junction where each residence waste discharge pipe joins with the municipal sewer system.

The legislation calls for the sensors to be installed by the fall of 2021. While the installation job will be put out to bid, the estimates range from $2 billion to $6 billion. A special Bond issue is expected to cover the cost of the new system.

When challenged about the effect of additional taxes on Illinois residents, the bill’s sponsors said the tax burden can be reduced quite easily by simply eating less. One legislator went so far as to suggest that taxing human waste will lead to less eating and healthier residents, therefore they are doing residents a great service by taxing their waste.

A satirical article on a fictional tax so close to our experience that people should be forgiven for believing it is real.

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